Fed up with Birth Control!

June 29, 2008 at 8:07 pm | Posted in Life | 17 Comments

Does anybody out there struggle with the whole birth control situation like I apparently do?

*Pills make me CRAZY, sick at my stomach, gain weight and I forget to take them.

*The patch I don’t trust. I have heard one to many stories.

*I had in the Implanon device which goes in your arm and lasts for 3 years- it was not working with my body. I will spare the details but I was really hoping it would work. I also gained a bunch of weight.

*I can’t have the IUD (mirena) because I haven’t had a baby yet. I honestly don’t know if i want to have it.

*There are other options but they pretty much require me to pay $30-50 a month and when I am heading straight into formula and diapers. I am not feeling that.

* and that leaves our final option- the good ole sock! I hate the C because I don’t feel like its fair to my husband but these days it seems like our only option. I do like them in the aspect that it is not running all these chemicals/hormones through my body. However- I just had my Implannon out last month and I have had cramps from HELL for about 24 hours now. I was up all night last night.

All this to say I am sooooo frustrated with birth control. Does anybody else feel my pain here???

Babysitter/clean your house anyone?

June 28, 2008 at 4:11 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I am home some this week and could use some extra money and wanted to know if anyone needed their house cleaned or their kids sat? I am around, just give me a call! I hope you all are having a great weekend!!

Hopeful

June 27, 2008 at 6:07 am | Posted in adoption, God, Life, Thoughts on God, Updates | 4 Comments

Our lives are pretty crazy right now. July 1st marks the day when our homestudy should be done and our profile should start to be showing. We also have our house on the market as of Monday. There is a great possilbilty that we could be chosen, have a baby with us (as first time parents not having a clue what we are doing) and be homeless all at the same time! I feel like a grownup with grownup issues. I have never in my life felt like I am walking on water, looking Jesus straight in the eyes with my arms out and scared to death that I am about to plummet down to the bottom of the ocean.

I will admit to you that I am scared to death. There are some real moments when I start thinking and can really feel my blood pressure rising. When I think about this precious child that I could be holding in my arms I start thinking is this process going to be painful? Will we have a failed placement before we get to the right child? Will we have a child in our home for a couple of months and will a birthfather come out of the woodworks and will I have to give this child back? Then there is the whole house thing. What if it doesn’t sell? What if we don’t make any money off of it? What if we have to keep paying our house payment and have to live with someone (with a baby) because we can’t afford two housing payments? What if it sells in the middle of the summer and Steven can’t come home to help me pack the house up? There are soooo many questions that spin through my mind. I tend not to do well with stress!! I have to really turn these thoughts off and choose not to listen to the noise inside my head and sit in peace.

God has made it very clear that this is where he wants our steps to be right now. I am beginning to think that He wants our life to be this way right now. I guess you tend to learn more by being squeezed!

*Through this I am learning that God is my peace. He is my comfort, my backbone. God is life giving. God is worthy to trust. I am learning how much I really do love him.

*I am learning that we learn how to trust by jumping. We don’t trust standing on the ground and thinking about jumping. We learn by backing up, running as fast as we can and jumping into life.

*God has really been working on my heart teaching me to trust that He is good no matter what the circumstances. Whether life sucks bad at the moment or if it will suck worse than I could ever imagine in the future He is still good. I might not see it in that moment but He is good. (I have been listening this week!)

So- we are stressed, we are exhausted, we are on the edge of our seats, we are numb, we are ready, we are scared, we are wondering how this will all work out however= we are hopeful and excited about life right now!!

Can’t make it through this without crying!

June 10, 2008 at 11:06 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

I saw this on my friend Rebecca’s blog: Incredible!

I cannot get the video to work on my blog but go see this!

Well…. we are done!!

June 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm | Posted in adoption, Updates | 3 Comments

After many months (many is relative)  we have everything that our adoption agency needs from us turned in!!! Our social worker came to our house and did our last bit and now everything is in her hands. She said it would take her about a month to get our homestudy done. We should be hearing from her around the first of July to start the “official” waiting process!! We are soooooooooo excited and ready for this baby! I can’t believe everything is done and it is officially out of our hands. It feels like we crossed over the top of a huge mountain and we can see the promise land!!

It is great to have this month to sit back and relax and enjoy our time together. These could be the last couple of months we have by ourselves for a long time. I feel really good right now. Not to anxious or impatient. I am really relaxed and dreaming about this baby. Who knows if it will be a boy or a girl? We were really hoping it would be a boy in the beginning (and still) but I think we are getting a little more excited about the idea of a girl. Who knows!

I have our baby bed, mattress, stroller/car seat, pack n play, bouncer and some other really great gifts! I LOVE all of them! I love looking at them and can’t wait to put a baby in each of them! We love all of you for the support, love, gifts and prayers you have given to us. This is really becoming a reality and we can’t wait to share this journey with you all. My heart is in love with adoption. I am in love with becoming a mom!!

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