Reflections from 08

January 4, 2009 at 9:02 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I entered this 09 year kind of reluctantly. I was sad to see the 08 year go although it has been the hardest year of my life. The theme for the year I think was the word “change.” I feel as if 75% of the year was spent with me just holding (clinging) on to Jesus not knowing how everything would pan out. I felt completely out of control the entire year and I have to say it was the sweetest year of my life this far. We have had some huge things (for me :)) happen this year. These are just a few:

*we began dreaming of moving to Austin

*we dove hard into getting our adoption moving (paper work, meetings)

*we had to raise a lot of money for our adoption

*we decided on moving to Austin and began to prepare

*I knew that I would be 13 hours from my parents for the first time in my life

*I ended my job in May and went on the road with Steven during the summer (right before the move and baby)

*We packed our house into a HUGE u-haul along with the Ivey’s house

*We left our first house- it was our first home that we had made our own

*We moved into the Ivey’s house because our house wouldn’t sell

*We got chosen to be August’s parents

*We waited for a month for August to be born not knowing if he would one day be ours, meanwhile living with the Ivey’s for a month having so much fun with our best friends

*Our house still isn’t selling, we have to have our own place for the adoption which resulted in a one day turn around moving into our apt and me not going to Haiti as planned

*We drove to Nashville and stayed a month with my parents for the birth of August and release to come back to Texas

*We had August for 3 weeks falling in love with him but knowing his mom could still change her mind

*The wait time ended and we were released to go back to Texas!

*We are in a new city, new state, new church, meeting new friends, new apt with a new baby!

*We have a house payment, an apt payment, bills with one income and it always works out and we don’t know how!

I know that others go through sooo much more than what this year entailed for us. For me this year was so stretching. I was stretched beyond what I thought I was capable of. Throughout this stretching process I found a peace that I have only had one other time in my life. It was the peace you find when you are completely out of control. Its amazing how much deeper my love for God is because of this year. Its amazing how much stronger my marriage is because of this year. I think I am having a hard time letting go of 08 and really focusing on a new year. I am still learning from 08. I want to live without control this year as I did last year. Lord thank you for hurt, worry, helplessness, heartache, a new chapter in the journey and a new joy for they have led me closer to you!

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  1. Wow. That IS a lot for a year. Although I didn’t go through what you did, I do know that feeling… and you’re right – there’s something about being completely out of control and helpless that brings us utterly abandoned upon our knees before our Father. It is NOT fun, but it is beautiful. I’m so proud of the person you are and are becoming… it is beautiful to sit back and watch our Father transform your heart and life. I love you Mare!
    Oh yeah… I love your new blog too!


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