Changes

July 27, 2008 at 4:50 pm | Posted in adoption, Church, Family, Life, My Husband, Thoughts on God, Updates | 2 Comments

Warning: Very nostalgic about my life right now if you don’t want to hear about it don’t read!!

As most of you know by now we are moving to Austin, Texas. I am more than excited about this move! I can’t wait to get there and to be at an incredible church and be in an awesome town. We have always said that IF we ever decided to live in Texas it would have to be Austin. I am so so excited for my husband and what the winds of change are bringing to his life. I am so excited to see life in his face and excitement in his eyes. His joy is worth it all right now. I am excited for what Austin will bring to both of our lives. I know God has great great plans for us there and my heart is racing on how we can get there faster!!

I would be lying if I said I am not a little torn right now though. I love Tennessee! I love the weather, I love the beautiful fall colors, I LOVE downtown Nashville, I love the community of friends that I have here and I adore my parents. The closer that this move gets the harder it is getting. I know that I am about to uproot my whole life and move it 14 hours away to a state that I have never lived in. I am moving to a state where everybody very annoyingly seems to think it is perfect. Texas will be great but I don’t think I will ever think its the greatest! I am more than ready to get there. I am 50% ecstatic and 50% bummed. Those are some pretty conflicting emotions!!

I have been out of my house for 10 days now and to come home has been wonderful. This is one of my last Sundays in this house. I have all the blinds open, laundry running constantly, my house is spotless and I am taking in every last few moments that I have here. This is our first house that we have owned together. We have put many hours of work into this house and we have never stopped loving it. If we were staying here I really think we would make it work for a very long time. This house is so small but I think it has taught us so much about simplifying our lives and making the best of what you have. We will always love this house.

I am really having to trust God’s timing in our lives right now. It is harder than anything I have ever had to do. My mind is CONSTANTLY racing through life and what it will look like. My mind is full and my heart is heavy. We have had 1 person look at our house in over 30 days and we are having to drop the price. I am more than worried but having to make myself trust that God is in control. We have to move regardless of whether it sells or not in August. I HATE having to live with people and feeling like we are putting people out. I really pride myself on not being a burden to others. I am just really trying to trust that God knows what is going on. I am also so torn on our baby. I think about this baby every moment I am awake. There is so much going on. I have no idea how this will all work out. I want to get chosen so badly and have a baby soon. My moments with God have been so sweet. I have had Hillsong United playing all morning over and over and over and over and over. I need this repetition playing in my head right now. It helps me so much to sort through anxiety and see the big picture and what my life is meant for. Adoption is sooo unbelievably hard. I would take labor for 12 hours over a year of anticipating this child and it is not getting any easier! I know all of this will be worth it in the end. Sorry for all the venting- it just all really needed to come out before I explode in a mess of tears all over my husband.

Please pray for our house to sell.

Please pray that we get chosen and for our mom who is making even harder decisions than what I am dealing with right now. Her pains are so much greater than mine and that is breaking my heart right now. I pray for her so much and my heart is so heavy for her.

Thank you for listening to me vent.

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2 Comments »

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  1. i love you dearly and can hear the emotion in your words! i am praying for you guys and believing that the lord will work out every single detail in a beautiful way that is undeniably evidence of his hand in this!

    texas is great… but it will never be as great as home. changing environments makes you really realize what you treasure most about where you are and what you’ll miss. i think moving to dallas made me love nashville twice as much as i did before!

    on the other hand, IIIIIII am so ready for you to be in texas! 🙂

  2. Maris,
    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Your mom is one of my dearest friends in the whole world. And you are sooo right about Texans – having lived there for 3 years, I can truly agree with Bro Jerry’s statement that Texas is a great place to be FROM. But there ARE some wonderful things to – I’m sure that the Lord will bless you (as he did me) with some great, life-long friends. Soak in the culture – visit the State Fair of Texas in October – it’s like nothing else.

    We love you
    Perri


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